The Truth About Homeschool Socialization
If you’re homeschooling, thinking about homeschooling, or have ever heard of homeschooling, you’re probably also familiar with the beliefs surrounding homeschool socialization.
The common myth associated with homeschooling is that homeschooled kids are not socialized. But, why do people believe so deeply in this issue of socialization?
We have begun to define socialization as being around same-age peers for the majority of our day. We have put the term into a very small box. It’s common to only think of socialization as being around people our own age, engaging with them in ways that we have been told is “normal” in our society.
What actually is socialization?
Dictionary.com defines socialization as:
a continuing process whereby an individual acquires a personal identity and learns the norms, values, behavior, and social skills appropriate to their social position.
Nowhere in that definition do you see that this can only take place in a classroom with a child’s same-aged peers.
In fact, how would children learn societal “norms” if they are only placed in a classroom with children of their own age all day everyday.
The value of true socialization actually comes from a child interacting with people of all ages, abilities, and backgrounds.
If we only learn to socialize with one group of the same-aged peers, how are we establishing our own identity in the big, vast world? How are we learning proper behavior if all we see is one example day in and day out?
There is certainly a lot to be learned from our peers that can be very beneficial to our lives. But, let’s not overlook the negative that comes from socializing with only people of our same age all the time.
Competitiveness, jealousy, bullying, peer pressure, and negative attitudes can all be easily picked up if we’re only ever being compared to people our own age.
Socialization is most effective when it is diverse. School is one possible place out of hundreds where a child can learn how to behave and interact with others.
Don’t fall into the thinking trap that it is the only and best option for your child to get socialization.
That’s simply untrue.
Do Homeschool Kids Struggle with Socialization?
Whether or not your homeschool child will be “social” falls a lot on the parents. It is part of our responsibility to provide socialization opportunities outside of the home.
This is important because kids need to interact with the outside world in order to learn how to live in it.
So, whether or not an individual child struggles with socialization will depend on the opportunities you give them to be around others. This isn’t limited to just homeschooled children, though.
Public school children can also struggle with socialization if they are not given other support and opportunities to interact outside of the classroom. This is especially true if the child does not thrive in the public school setting. Maybe they are bullied, shy, or suffer from anxiety.
There are many reasons why a child may struggle with socialization. But, it has more to do with their personality, the support they have, and the environment they are in, than it does with how they were educated.
There are certainly children who will thrive in public school settings. And, there are children who will see better outcomes by being homeschooled students. Just like real life, socialization is not a one-size fits all. And we can’t put everyone inside the same box.
How Much Socialization Do Homeschoolers Need?
There is no “right” amount of socialization. But, making an effort to get out of the house and around others is important for everyone. It’s important for us to socialize with others no matter what our age is. So, making an effort to get our kids into the world as much as possible for healthy socialization will benefit them greatly.
These outings could include a trip to the park, the grocery store, eating at a restaurant, going to the bank, a trip to the library, etc. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate, organized event for a child to socialize. Socialization will occur with other families at the park, the cashier at the store, a waitress, the bank teller, the librarian, and so forth.
As you can see, we interact with a vast number of people of all ages and backgrounds on a normal basis. While it’s important to have regular social interaction with other children, so much can be learned from interacting with everyday people we encounter all the time in the real world.
Instead of trying to specify a number on how much time needs to be spent on homeschool socialization, focus on exposing your kids to everyday tasks with everyday people. They will witness socialization all around them. And, they will learn a great deal from observing behaviors in a variety of different settings.
Think Outside The Box: Why Age Doesn’t Matter
It’s unrealistic to assume that children should only socialize with others in their same age group.
That’s not how life works in the real world. We are continuously interacting with different people of all ages on a daily basis. Learning to respect, engage with, and work with all different kinds of people in our life is vitally important.
We are constantly learning from people who are more experienced and wiser than we are. Relationships and interactions with people who are older than us can be some of the most invaluable experiences in life.
Don’t underestimate the power of thinking outside the little box of socialization- the one that limits us to peers who are most like us.
Ways to Socialize While Homeschooling
If you’re still wondering how you can help your homeschooled child make friends, I’m going to provide 10 simples ideas for homeschool socialization.
These social activities are ones that everyone in the United States should have some access to. If not, maybe it’s time for you to take the initiate to set it up in your area! You never know who else is looking for the same homeschool socialization opportunities that you are.
Homeschool Groups or Co-ops
If you’re new to homeschooling, you may not have heard of homeschool groups or a homeschool co-op. These are groups of homeschoolers who get together regularly, usually for the purpose of socialization.
There are co-ops who organize and teach classes to all the kids, ones who solely plan field trips together, and some who just meet up to play. Some groups are nature themed, while others might focus on creating STEM projects.
The best way to find what groups are available in your area is to reach out to other homeschoolers, or do a simple Facebook search. Most homeschool groups have a private Facebook group, and there are often several different groups in the same area.
We live in a rural area and have at least 5 homeschool groups who regularly meet up within an hour driving distance of us.
Homeschool groups are the best way to establish a homeschooling community of friends who you can develop close bonds with. Your children can interact with other children of varying ages. And, the parents can also have a chance to form friendships with one another.
These groups have really impacted our homeschooling journey, and I’m not sure we could be as content in our school choice without having the community.
If homeschool socialization concerns you, this is single-handedly one of the best ways to meet that need!
Sign up for classes in your community
Classes available to homeschoolers can be tricky to find if you live in a more remote area. But, I have found that most local businesses who offer children’s activities are more than willing to set something up for homeschoolers during the slower weeks.
When most children are back in school, businesses enjoy having classes they can offer to those available during weekdays.
Some places to look for homeschool activities would be: local art centers, museums, nature centers, trampoline parks, skating rinks, music teachers/shops, local sewing shops, and any nearby universities.
If there is enough interest in a homeschool class, most businesses are happy and willing to provide the service. Don’t be afraid to get a group together and reach out to any businesses that provide a service your child would be interested in!
Some examples of classes we have arranged for our homeschool group are: art classes, nature school at the nature center, sewing class, art and music classes at the local university (taught by art and music major students), homeschool skate days at the skating rink, gym and swim at the rec center, and homeschool days at the trampoline park.
Get involved with your church
Another great way to meet people is through your church. By attending church regularly, your children will establish close relationships with others. Not only does a church family give your child a sense of community and belonging, but they will also be learning and establishing values while they’re at it.
Many churches offer youth group or after school programs that are perfect for getting your children some social time. These are often drop-off programs, and your child will have the opportunity to interact with children of all ages and from different schools.
Host a Play Date
Now, if you’re like me, you might be breaking out into a sweat just thinking of this one. You’re probably thinking:
“Wait, I have to actually clean my house and host people?!”
I know. It sounds like a big undertaking. I get it.
Or, maybe this idea really excites you because you are an extrovert and love to have people into your home. That’s great! Take advantage of that personality trait.
If you’re more hesitant to have people over for a play date, ask yourself why. Is it because your house is always a mess and you’re afraid of being judged? Perhaps it’s because you are afraid of social situations and would prefer to not interact with others.
Whatever your feelings are here, just remember that you are trying to help your child build strong relationships. They don’t get to see their friends on a daily basis like other children do, so it’s important to try and provide those times of interaction as often as you can.
If you struggle with maintaining a clean home and it all feels overwhelming, check out my post on a weekly homemaking routine that will help you stay organized.
Also, remember that a play date doesn’t have to be in your home, either. Invite your friends to meet up at the park, go to the library, or take a trip to the local museum.
Volunteer
Another simple way to get your kids out into the world, and also to teach them a valuable lesson, is to volunteer.
Every community has volunteer opportunities available. Find out what the need is in your area and make it a priority to regularly volunteer.
Perhaps it’s handing out food at the local food pantry, organizing clothing donations, or getting a group together to go sing songs to the nursing home residents.
There are so many opportunities to do good in your own community, and this also serves as a great way to let your children interact with a wide range of people with similar values.
Sign up for sports
Just because your child is not enrolled in public school doesn’t mean they can’t participate on sports teams. Most communities will offer summer extracurricular activities that are open to any residents.
These sports may include, softball, baseball, soccer, tennis, running clubs, dance teams, or gymnastics. There are also swimming, basketball, and football teams regularly offered to the community as well.
Take advantage of these community sports offerings to show your child what it’s like to be a part of a team. This is a great way to practice social skills related to working with others and the discipline of developing a skill set.
Enroll in 4H or Girl/Boy Scouts
Most counties have clubs that your children can sign up for. These may include 4-H, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, or other similar organizations.
If you are an active member of your club and participate in all that is offered, your child will have many opportunities to interact with peers of different ages and also learn new skills.
These clubs are great for building leadership skills, public speaking, and time management skills.
Check out Library Events
Your local library most likely offers some events for children. These may include guest speakers, themed family nights, or story hours.
Definitely stop in and ask for a schedule of events happening at your library. Librarians are usually more than happy to set up a new event, too, if there is enough interest.
Homeschool Socialization Is What You Make It!
As you can see, there are many ways for homeschool children to become socialized in everyday life. Whether it’s visiting local libraries, participating in church groups, or starting up your own book club, there is ample opportunity for homeschool students to develop good social skills.
Even though the topic of homeschool socialization is a controversial one amongst homeschool families, we can all agree that it is important to find a community of people who you and your children can build solid relationships with. There are many great ways to meet social needs, and finding the ones that best support you on your homeschooling journey is the most important thing!
Leave a Reply